Quote: Whatever you have

Whatever you have, spend less.
- Samuel Johnson

Influence and Motivation

I was helping to enhance the effectiveness of a sales presentation
for a division of a Fortune 500 company this week. Lots of fun and
filled with some real "aha" experiences...

In just a moment I'm going to show you how to motivate people. Very
few people have the ability to motivate others to do anything because
people who have evolved to becoming agents of change haven't
discovered the lens with which you MUST view each person.

As you read the story, don't forget the message...and then...record
the analysis for your every day reminder...

Imagine:

Someone goes to work five days per week. They "punch in" at 9 and
"out" at "5." By an entrepreneur's standards, those are pretty wimpy
hours...OK, really wimpy hours. Then it dawned on me that most people
who do the "punch in" and "9-5" have to punch in because otherwise no
one would know they were there. In other words, it's sort of like
wearing an ankle bracelet when you are released from jail and
required to be at a certain place at a certain time and no where else.

As time passes the individual becomes like the hamster in the wheel.
Each day like the last and very predictive of the future.

When you say "job" the person immediately thinks of THEIR experience.
When you say "work" they think of THEIR OWN "work" or place of
employment. After a few months, and then a few years the person
becomes dependent on the job, the company,

...the wheel. They almost become a hamster....

Take away the wheel and the hamster freaks out.

[4] Tinnitus, Pain and Visual Delusions: Repairing Perception Problems

You may hear it (tinnitus), or know someone who does, feel it (pain),
see it (visual delusions). But you don't have permanently live with
these experiences!

12 years ago I woke up with tinnitus. 70-80 dB of h*ll. Talking with
a dozen doctors and reading tons of medical literature boiled down to
one thing: You are stuck with it. Get used to it.

Not possible. There was NO way I could live with the jet engine 24/7.
In addition to medications and a whole slew of lifestyle changes, I
started studying the brain. I got caught up by buying every textbook
I could find on neurology, psychobiology and neurobiology.

I'll tell you one thing: We know 100 times more about the brain today
than we did 12 years ago, but...the doctors still tell people there
is nothing that can be done.

They tell that to people who taste metal, see delusions, have
schizophrenia (paranoia w/delusions), feel chronic pain and have the
nightmare of them all: tinnitus. And they are wrong.

Kevin Hogan

The People Behind Technique and Strategy

by Kevin Hogan

You can know all the techniques, strategies and mental linguistics on
the planet...but...if you aren't a person of influence you haven't
got a chance.
Similarly you can be a person of influence but your client quite
simply might not be motivated to change. (at least not yet!)

Let's look at both of the people in the process and find out what
kind of a person a person of influence is...then find out what your
client must feel about you to best be motivated by you....

First: What is influence? It's a process where one person motivates
another person to change something.

Let's look at just what it takes to motivate that person and who the
person of influence needs to be to accomplish persuasion.

Just who is the person of influence?

Who is the great salesman, the great therapist, the great lover, the
great President, the great you get the idea....

There are a number of qualities and characteristics that are crucial
to success in persuasion and influence...in every usage from therapy
to selling. Above all else is one characteristic that dwarfs all of the rest...

Empathy.

*Nothing* is more important than empathy for someone who wants to
motivate others to change. What is empathy? It's the ability to
feel...to understand...to walk a mile in their shoes...Empathy means
that you can *feel* and see life from the perspective of the other
person. If and when you can do that...you can be influential. If you
can't you will only be able to "close a percentage" or get lucky now
and then. You can know all the techniques on the planet but if you
can't feel their pain you will never truly be a great salesman, a
great communicator, a powerful person of influence.

***You walk into the hospital, see your loved one with the I V in
their arm. You paste a smile on your face but they know it hurts you
as much as it does them. That's empathy.

***Your child is home sick from school. You feel as bad for them as they feel.

***You see the result of their bad decisions and the pain of the
future they now face. You feel it too.

When I think of empathy I think of people like former President
Clinton. (gasp!) He has far more empathy than most people in the
public eye. Politics aside, when you watched Clinton with people, you
sensed he could really be in that person's shoes...and he was.

That means he has the capacity to identify and feel what others are
feeling at this moment. People of great empathy have three common traits.

* They have experienced pain first hand.
* They have a wide range of experiences with all kinds of other people.
* They are validated and feel good based upon the approval of others.

I saw a book on the shelf today at B & N. It was called "Disease to
Please." I didn't pick it up. Why? The person doesn't get it. (Just
like the guy who wrote "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. It's All Small
Stuff.") The book might be helpful but the *title* spreads a very bad
ideavirus.

In a broad sense, the ideal life is about two things. Giving and
receiving pleasure. (Pleasure broadly means anything that is good.)
Take away one of the two (giving or receiving) from the person and
you have a half of a person...

Take away the giving part, and in the vernacular, you have a jerk....

I'll bet a nickel the author of "Disease to Please" will tell the
reader that the reason people are unhappy and unsatisfied is that
they are trying to please other people at their own expense. (And
that might be a fact.) The possible solution might be proposed to
*stop* trying to please others and start doing what the reader has
never done perhaps...please themselves.

Problem.

As soon as the person stops being helpful, kind, loving, supportive,
nurturing to others they lose the other half of who they were. The
half of them that IS powerful and useful.

The real solution obviously is to always be supportive, kind and
helpful. And then to be supportive, kind and helpful to yourself as
well. (It requires no more time or effort. A simple set of choices.)
Then instead of becoming a jerk they becomes a complete
person...and...a person capable of powerful influence...which means
they are only one step away from success at any level they choose.

The influential person has a strong desire to please... and if they
are going to be influential that extends to the desire to help (for
both altruistic and selfish purposes) others be happy, feel better,
and be useful as a human. This desire to help, to create value, to
love will often be paired with some kind of pain and no one should
tell this person to try and squelch the feelings of being rebuffed,
rejected or hurt. That IS the healthy and normal response. These are
the feelings that generate the empathic response.

Master Your Mind

by Paul J. Meyer

Achievers set goals, are dedicated to reaching them,
concentrate on strengths and minimize weaknesses. They
continuously step up their courage, pride, determination
and confidence, all the while keeping their achievements
in perspective. In combination, these qualities make up
the achiever's attitude, the overall frame of mind that
enables people to become successful in all areas of life.

An achiever's attitude is essential to reaching goals and
fulfilling dreams. Through practice and repetition, you
can develop positive habits of thinking. Your mind
believes what you tell it, and your body receives direction
from your mind. Tell yourself constantly that you can do
something, and you will.

Master your mind with these suggestions:

Focus On Your Goals
When you have sufficient desire to reach the top, you
gain the determination, courage, pride and willingness
necessary to exert the effort to overcome obstacles that
stand between you and your goals.

Exert Self-Control
Many people panic when they make a few mistakes.
Achievers look forward­not backward. They keep
their mind focused on their goals and possess mental
toughness, never letting their emotions disrupt
performance.

Be Teachable
Achievers realize they do not know everything there is
to know. They know they can always improve, no matter
how good they are. They welcome constructive criticism
and pursue suggestions from others to reach even higher
levels of expertise and excellence.

Being rich

"Being rich has more to do with a picture than a bank account... it
is all about the picture you see in your mind about your life... that
determines what's in your bank account."
Doug Firebaugh

Success is a state of mind.

If you want to be successful, start thinking of yourself as being
successful. You are what you believe yourself to be.
Don't be afraid of what life has to offer you. If you believe that
life is worth living, your belief will help create the fact.
The barrier between you and success is not something that exists in
the real world. It's simply composed of doubts about your ability.
Your only limits to your realization of tomorrow will be your doubts of today.

by Max Steingart

Paraphrase Your Customer's Words

The customer is only sure that you have been listening when you
paraphrase what the prospect has said and feed it back in your own
words. This is where the rubber meets the road in effective
listening. This is where you demonstrate in no uncertain terms to the
prospect that your listening has been real and sincere. This is where
you show the prospect that you were paying complete attention to what
he or she was saying. Paraphrasing is how you prove it.

Question for Clarification
When the prospect has finished explaining his or her situation to
you, and you have paused, and then questioned for clarification, you
paraphrase the prospects primary thoughts and concerns, and feed them
back to him or her in your own words.

Use the Right Words
For example, you might say, "Let me make sure I understand exactly
what you are saying. It sounds to me like you are concerned about two
things more than anything else, and that in the past you have had a
couple of experiences that have made you very careful in approaching
a decision of this kind."

Feed it Back Accurately
You then go on to feed back to the prospect exactly what he or she
has told you, pausing and questioning for clarification as you go,
until the customer says words to the effect of, "Yes, that's it!
You've got it exactly."

Earn the Right to Sell
Only when you and the customer completed a thorough "examination" and
have mutually agreed on the "diagnosis" you are in a position to
begin talking to the customer about your product or service. In
general terms, this means that you can not pull out your brochures
and price lists and begin telling the customer how your product or
service can solve his problems or achieve his goals until about
seventy percent of the way through the sales conversation. Until
then, you have not yet earned the right. Until then, you don't even
know enough to begin an intelligent presentation without embarrassing
yourself.

Be a Good Listener
The more and better you listen, the more and better people will like
you, trust you and want to do business with you. The more they will
want to get involved with you as a person and the more popular you
will be with them. Excellent listeners are welcome everywhere, in
every walk of life, and they eventually and ultimately arrive at the
top of their fields.

Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, remember that your first job in the sale is to get the
customer to like you and believe that you understand his situation.
Paraphrasing is the way you accomplish this.

Second, be sure that the customer agrees with you completely when you
feed back his concerns to him. Only then can you really start selling.

Brian Tracy

Your Lifestyle

One of the major reasons why we fail to find happiness or to create
unique lifestyle is because we have not yet mastered the art of being.

While we are home our thoughts are still absorbed with solving the
challenges we face at the office. And when we are at the office we
find ourselves worrying about problems at home.

We go through the day without really listening to what others are
saying to us. We may be hearing the words, but we aren't absorbing the message.

As we go through the day we find ourselves focusing on past
experiences or future possibilities. We are so involved in yesterday
and tomorrow that we never even notice that today is slipping by.

We go through the day rather than getting something from the day. We
are everywhere at any given moment in time except living in that
moment in time.

Lifestyle is learning to be wherever you are. It is developing a
unique focus on the current moment, and drawing from it all the
substance and wealth of experience and emotions that it has to offer.
Lifestyle is taking time to watch a sunset. Lifestyle is listening to
silence. Lifestyle is capturing each moment so that it becomes a new
part of what we are and of what we are in the process of becoming.
Lifestyle is not something we do; it is something we experience. And
until we learn to be there, we will never master the art of living well.

To Your Success,
Jim Rohn

Prioritize your decisions

If you find it difficult to make decisions, or you worry that your
decisions are not good decisions, or you lack the confidence to make
decisions in a timely manner... you're not alone! Many people express
their concerns about their decision-making abilities. But if you ask
them, "What's your routine for making decisions?" they often will
tell you they don't have one.

Truthfully they do, but they don't recognize it, or they don't like
it. Their decisions are based on Something, and if they stop and
think about it they'll discover what it is. However, it's much better
to purposefully and thoughtfully develop your decision-making system,
and then follow it whenever you need to make decisions

If you ask Zig Ziglar how he makes decisions, he'll tell you that he
follows some basic rules. Here they are:

1. If I'm really tired, I don't make significant decisions (except in
emergencies).

2. If someone is pressing me to decide something "right now," unless
an immediate decision is critical, I say, "If I have to decide now,
the answer is no. After I have had a chance to catch my breath and
review the facts, there's the possibility it could be yes." Then I
put the ball back in his or her court and ask, "Do you want my
decision now, or should we wait?"

3. I like to determine the maximum benefit of a decision, assuming
that everything goes my way. Then I ask, "Suppose nothing goes my
way? Suppose this doesn't develop and materialize as I expect it to?
What is my maximum exposure? What would I lose?"

4. For significant business-related decisions, I run them past my
advisors. These people are successful in their businesses and
professions and have a considerable amount of knowledge, experience,
and wisdom, all of which are musts in the decision-making process. I
get their advice and follow their recommendations, with good results
in most cases. If the decision is too minor to involve my advisors
but I still want input, I get my family together to look at the pros and cons.

5. I like to pray about my decisions. I ask God to help me see the
truth of my motives and to lead me in the way I should go. If I'm
about to make an unwise decision, I simply don't have peace about
that decision, and I consequently act on that feeling of unease. I
ask myself, "How will this decision affect all the areas of my
life--personal, family, career, financial, physical, mental and
spiritual?" Obviously, not all decisions affect all areas, but if the
decision involves a financial reward but also carries considerable
family sacrifice, for example, I think carefully as to whether what I
give up is compensated for by what I gain.

One final note: Prioritize your decisions. Some are more urgent than others!

by Zig Ziglar

If you're doing a presentation

Whenever and whatever you're pitching, dozens of factors will figure
in the final decision of your prospects. All else being equal, you
have the edge if you can establish a personal connection. Connect
emotionally and intellectually, so they like and trust you more than
your competitors. How can you get your prospects to like you? Try these tips.

Focus and be sincere. If you appear nervous or unsure, you may seem
devious or incompetent. If your presentation does not respond to
their concerns and you just grind on with a prepared pitch, they will
decide you don't care about them and their problems. Look people
right in the eyes and convince them that you stand 100% behind the
ideas, products, or services that you want to sell them. Pick up on
their concerns, and address them.

"Divide and conquer." If you're doing a presentation, shake hands
with everyone as they enter the room. Connect with them so you see
them as individuals, and you become more memorable to them too.
(People are usually more shy of groups of strangers than in
one-on-one contacts.)

Use technology to enhance your presentation, not drown it. PowerPoint
can keep you on track, but it can't establish trust.

Keep it simple and memorable! When your prospects have a debriefing
afterwards, you want them to remember what you said more than
anything your competitors pitched to them. Break your talking points
into snappy sound bites that are easy to write down and remember.
Make them interesting and repeatable.

Steer clear of technical language and jargon. Rehearse your
presentation in advance with your spouse or an intelligent
12-year-old across the dinner table. If there's anything they don't
understand, it's too complicated.

Tell great stories. People are trained to resist a sales pitch, but
no one can resist a good story. Let's say you're trying to get money
to fund your software company. Tell a story about how the prospective
investor's life will change when you bring the product to market:
"Imagine that a year from now you'll come to work and use this
software to do in 5 minutes what now takes you 45 minutes. I don't
know what that would do to your life, but in all our test markets or
pilot programs, people tell us . . . " Then add more stories.

Take a lesson from Hollywood. Give your stories interesting
characters and dialogue, plus a dramatic lesson that your prospects
can relate to. Don't say, "Certain companies have used our software."
Don't even say, "IBM has used our software." Instead, say, "Joe Smith
at IBM said to me, 'If we don't increase sales turnover by 20%, we
won't make our projections'. We guaranteed them they could if they
used our software. Six months later, Joe called and said, 'You guys
saved us.'"

If you are pitching a product that hasn't been built yet, build a
story about what it will be like for someone using it.

Everything else being equal, you're way ahead of any and all your
competition when your prospects relate to you, like you, and trust you.

by Patricia Fripp, CSP, CPAE

Acting On Your Dream

I have not often admitted this, but I was inspired to become a public
speaker by perhaps the worst motivational speaker I've ever heard in my life.

This fellow is still working, surprisingly, so I won't give his name.
He was the opening speaker in a seminar I attended early in my
speaking career and he nearly closed the show early with his
monotone, unenthusiastic presentation. As he spoke, the room grew as
quiet as a graveyard between funerals.

I went to sleep to be awakened by what could only be called courtesy
applause for his presentation. You could make more noise clapping
with one hand. After the less-than-stirring speech, I leaned over to
the guy sitting next to me and said, "That was really boring." And he
said, "You should be so boring for the kind of money he makes." The
fellow told me this terrible speaker was getting $5,000 for each
terrible speech.

After hearing how much a really bad speaker could make, I decided it
was time for me to go after this dream. A few days later, I caught a
Greyhound bus from Miami to Orlando where I'd signed up for a seminar
for beginners held by the National Speakers Association. It seemed
like the bus ride took weeks. I know it took every last dollar I
could scrape together. And so I was road-weary but eager to hear some
inspiring, motivational, and dynamic speaking when I finally took a
seat at the event. But who should walk out to lead the first session
but that same terrible $5,000-per-speech speaker? I could not believe it!

All that time on a stinking bus, stopping in every one-horse town
between Miami and Orlando, to hear this guy again? I nearly got up
and walked out. By the time he'd gotten halfway through his speech,
nearly half the audience had fled. But I stayed on until the bitter
end and the speaker's parting shot, as it turned out, was worth the
price of admission. He obviously had noted the exodus of the audience
and the drooping eyelids of those who remained because, as he built
up to his anticlimax, he stopped suddenly, looked out at the
remaining numbers of aspiring public speakers and said, "You know,
the only reason that I am standing up here and you are sitting down
there is that I represent the thoughts that you have rejected for yourself."

I don't know about the other dozen or so people in the audience, but
Mr. Monotone hit me right between the eyes with that shot. It was
true. He had acted upon something that I had only dreamt of doing.
I'd spent years dreaming of becoming a public speaker. But dreaming
was all I had done. This guy may not have had any talent for it. He
may have been the most undynamic public speaker in history. But he
was up there while I was still dreaming. And so that is how I became
motivated to start a new career by perhaps the worst motivational
speaker I have ever heard.

by Les Brown

CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Think about the following question:
What stops you from having the things in life you want...or want more of?
Did you answer money?... time?... my boss, mother, father,
partner?... fate?... bad luck? What is interesting about these
answers is that the cause is external to you and outside of your
direct control.

In order to understand how you can influence your external world, you
need to understand how your thinking affects your internal world. NLP
(Neuro Linguistic Programming) is the most useful approach we know
for doing this.

THE CONSCIOUS MIND

Why should we bother to "think positively?" Based on much published
information, many people have benefited from positive thinking. And
those of us who have consciously tried it have found it to be
worthwhile. But how does it work--and how much of the success of
positive thinking is a result of the Conscious mind?

You may already know your conscious awareness has a restricted
capacity for retaining information. Research has shown we can hold 7
plus or minus 2 chunks of information in awareness at any one time.
Techniques for helping people with their memory often vary the size
of the chunks, or find ways to link small chunks into one larger
chunk to allow more memory capacity. This is why telephone numbers
are broken into three and four digit sections.

THE UNCONSCIOUS MIND

So what else is happening behind the 7 plus or minus 2 chunks of
information in our conscious thinking? What organises our heartbeat,
our digestion, our response to outside temperature? What allows us to
drive our car without having to think about it? What receives
literally billions of pieces of external information, and processes
them with no effort?

Psychologists refer to this part of the mind as the Unconscious, or
more accurately, the Other-Than-Conscious, because it is far from
unconscious. It is awake and active even when we are asleep. Doctors
were surprised to discover that, under hypnosis, patients who had
been anaesthetised were able to recall every word said in the
operating theatre. One part of their mind was obviously fully aware
of what was going on!

The brain looks after thousands of functions in the body every
moment, and can handle astronomic amounts of information. What is
most impressive is it can do all of these things at the same time
without any need for conscious control. And fortunately, it never forgets how.

The Unconscious responds to every external stimuli, and every
thought. Each response sets off a chemical reaction which is sent to
the rest of the body. Therefore WHAT we think takes on a vital
significance. The Unconscious is like a good assistant, and basically
it will do what you tell it. But what exactly are you telling it to do?

You may say, "I deserve the very best," but if in your Unconscious
the message is being countered with,"You?...You'll never amount to
anything," what is going to be the result?

Unless you stop and think about it, you will be unaware of the
Unconscious thought. All that you will probably be aware of is a
slight sense of unease or something not being quite right An internal
conflict may result and this will lead to incongruent behaviour. This
explains why saying an affirmation, or positive statement about
yourself, sometimes does not work.

NLP has techniques and strategies to help you become fully congruent.
Congruence is when you align your mind and behaviour behind positive
thoughts so there is total commitment to achieving an outcome. This
is important because as Anthony Robbins says, "It is in your moments
of decision that your destiny is shaped." A good way to experience
congruence is to utilise past positive experiences and incorporate
these into present behaviour. The result is new and empowered ways of
thinking.

We each have ten billion neurons (brain cells). And there are more
potential simultaneous connections between neurons than there are
atoms in the known universe. Yes, you may need to read that again!
This means we have an almost infinite capacity for creativity and
problem solving. As Einstein pointed out, the ONLY way we limit
ourselves is by not fully utilising this amazing gift. NLP is
designed to help us access more neurological pathways and thereby
create more choice in our life.

by PENNY TOMPKINS AND JAMES LAWLEY
NLP Consultants to Business and Individuals

'How To Close On Resistance'

Suppose you've just finished your business presentation and your prospect
resists your
offer. For example, let's say that your prospect tells you she doesn't have
the time
to do network marketing. What do you say?

Give up?

Here is a simple language formula for increasing your closing ratio by 40%
when you
get resistance at the end of a presentation:

Step 1. Agree
Step 2. Listen
Step 3. Probe
Step 4. Create Disagreement
Step 5. Solution

Here's how it might play out:
Prospect: 'Thanks for showing me your program but I just don't have the
time to add anything to my
schedule right now.'

You: (Agree) 'Hey, no problem. I think you ought to pass on having a
part-time business that
doesn't fit within your present schedule.'

You: (Listen)
Prospect: 'I like your program though. It's just the time thing you see.'

You: (Probe) 'What do you like about the program?'

Prospect: 'Well, it looks like you have some really great products and they
could help a lot of people.
I've always wanted to have my own business and this one looks pretty good.'

You: (Create Disagreement) 'But you're not really serious about having your
own business are you?'

Prospect: 'Actually, I am. I know I'd be good at running my own business.
I'm very motivated to
make money and work for myself.'

You: (Offer Solution) 'May I make a suggestion?

('Yes') Why don't we get you started on a very limited schedule--one you
would feel totally
comfortable with. As your income grows, you can always add more hours. That
way it won't conflict
with your present schedule. How does that sound?'

Prospect: 'Yeah, I could handle that.'
Cha ching!

Author: Hilton Johnson

DON'T QUIT

by Edgar A. Guest

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
when the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
when the funds are low and the debts are high,
and you want to smile but you have to sigh,
when care is pressing you down a bit - rest if you must,
but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns.
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a fellow turns about when he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow - you may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than it seems to a faint and faltering man;
often the struggler has given up when he might have captured the victor's cup;
and he learned too late when the night came down,
how close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out - the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
and when you never can tell how close you are,
it may be near when it seems afar;
so stick to the fight when you're hardest hit - it's when things seem worst,
you must not quit.

Would you like to increase your creativity?

Thinking increases creativity.

Think association. What can you associate with what you are thinking about?
Think combination. What can you combine with what you are thinking about?
Think rearrange. What can you rearrange in what you are thinking about?
Think adaption. What can you adapt to what you are thinking about?
Think substitution. What can you substitute for what you are thinking about?
Think magnification. What can you magnify about what you are thinking about?

Then, if you can't associate, combine, adapt, substitute, magnify, or
rearrange, what can you do with it? That's where the creativity really
comes in. Try it with everything you come across for the next week. See
where that takes your mind. Enjoy the trip.

by Jan Tincher

Do you know how to form a belief?

To form a belief, you need to recall or imagine enough experiences to
build your belief up. Let's say you want to build up a belief that says
you are successful at something. What have you been successful at
before? Remember all those times, and just for the heck of it, imagine
it even better than it was, because your brain does not know the
difference between real and VIVIDLY imagined.

Think of those experiences that build your belief up. If you have more
experiences that tear you down than build you up, your belief won't
stand on its own, so really work on this. *Tear down" the beliefs that
hold you back. Imagine them a long ways away from you, and bring up
close all those real or VIVIDLY imagined successful times.

Your experiences are like table legs and your belief is the table. You
need to form experiences *table legs* that support your beliefs *the
table*.

Author: Jan Tincher

Quote

"Good tactics can save even the worst strategy. Bad tactics will destroy
even the best strategy."
General George S. Patton, Jnr.

"Always stay humble, and stay hungry!"
-- Mark Colyer

Positive Attitiude

Author: Arthur Buchanan

The story of your life is still being written and why not make the final
chapter a happy one!

YOU HAVE THE POWER TO DO SO!

What we want to let you know is this, that you hold all the keys to your
future and only you can change you, so why not work at
changing yourself for the better and make yourself the best you that you
possible can? You can write the rest of your life as a
success and they may say

HE MIGHT HAVE NOT STARTRD OUT VERY WELL, BUT HE SURE FINISHED STRONG!

wouldn't that be a great way to go out with a bang and a feather in your
cap, after all you have been through! So let's grab that
pen and start to write the final chapter of your life, but how you may ask?
Well the first thing that we need to develop is a
positive attitude and this will do wonders for you in all areas of life and
it is a must in writing a successful ending to our
story.

SO BRING ON THE POSTIVE ATTITUDE PLEASE!

We are not going to go into that in great detail on how to do this because
in this book as it's not the goal of this book and
because I go into it in great detail how to have a positive attitude in my
previous book

OUT OF DARKNESS

Here are some suggestions for having a positive attitude:

1) No matter what the situtation looks like you need to say to yourself,
things are going to turn out all right I just know it.

2) When you need a lift say postive affirmations and this should lift your
sprits.

3) On a regular basis you need to listen to postive tapes and read
motivational books every chance you get.

4) Smile, Smile, Smile it will do wonders for your self esteem not to
mention you will become more like able

Those are some basic things you can do for a postive attitude.

Now that we have the seedlings of a positive attitude, what's next? Let's
work on self esteem a bit. I know you may be saying
to yourself this book sure took a funny twist, but everone can use a
postive attitude and some good healthy self esteem now and
then.

(CAN'T THEY?)

How do we get healthy self esteem?

One, is to know that there has never been anyone like you ever created in
the entire world and as long as this world keeps
creating people thier shall never be another like you! You are unquiue and
speaical and no nobody can be a better you than you
can be, you are a winner, so be the winner you were made to be and that
should be enough for anyone. Know that you are loved by
God! Please belive me when I tell you that he loves you and that should be
enough to keep anyones self esteem up knowing that God
almighty loves them and without fail I might add,

HE NEVER STOPS FOR THAT MATTER!

So when you are getting down on yourself remember that

YOU ARE LOVED

And that you can never a have poor self esteem when we know that God truely
loves us!

WHAT'S NEXT?

Please try to understand that we are just touching on these area's in this
book and that they should be covered in greater
detail to understand how they fully work.

LET'S GET ON TO RETRAING THE BRAIN!

What we mean here is the fact that you need to reprogram your brain to
think in a different manner. When you get an
undesirable thought you need to put in a different thought as fast as you
can. Example this is a bad day:(

INCERT POSTIVE THOUGHT

This day isn't so bad and I know that it's only going to get better:) You
have just had your first lesson in retraining your
brain! How did it feel? Pretty painless hun, after time you will find that
you really kinda like the retraining stuff and it is
showing postive results also so why not develop it until you are a pro at it.

GO AHEAD YOU DESERVE IT!

IS YOUR NET WORKING?

The most effective business tool you have is your network of colleagues,
co-workers and friends. Is it working for you?

The other day I was giving my seminar, "How to Make an Entrance & Work a
Room"**'. A participant asked,

"Why can't I just be me? Can't they just take me or leave me?" a participant
asked.

"Sure," I said, "that is what is happening now. How is it working for
you?" With
a shy smile, she said,

"I guess it's not or I wouldn't be taking the class."

Are you putting your best foot forward to improve your memorability? Remember,
it's not who you know, as networking maven, Susan RoAne says, it's who
knows you.
It's your 'M-Factor'! How memorable are you? Are you at the 'top-of-mind' when
folks ask for a referral?

We all have heard the news that we never get a second chance to make a first
impression. The follow-up story to that is that that excellent first impression
must be sustained and maintained by excellent networking skills.

HOW TO UP YOUR MEMORABILITY FACTOR -- YOUR M-FACTOR!

BE THERE

Woody Allen tells us that "80% of success is showing up"! Meeting new people is
the first step. There is no substitute for knowing people in your industry
or in
your market. Even if they are not in your market, they know people who are.
These
people will become your resource and you will become theirs. That's what
networking is all about.

ESTABLISH RAPPORT

Go to networking functions with one intent--to learn about the other people
there!

Does that seem contradictory? Did you think that your primary purpose was show
and tell? It's not. To be memorable, you must be very interested in learning
about others. As William James, the father of psychology, tells us that "the
deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated". One way to
appreciate others is to listen intently, not with bated breath, barely waiting
until their sentences are finished so that you can add your pearls of wisdom.
Listen well. Your only agenda is to learn more about them.

Don't worry. They'll ask about you and your work. If, by chance, a person fails
to inquire about you, that person simply does not understand the system. He or
she has just given you valuable information about themselves, an unfavorable
first impression. Avoid lone rangers. They do not know how to make the net
work.

When you take the time to build rapport by listening well and demonstrating
interest in others, your turn to report your skills, interests and
expertise will
come naturally.

NO CARDS BEFORE COMMUNICATION

Networking is not about whoever leaves with the most business cards wins. You
know they often simply sit in well-intentioned piles on your desk or in a
drawer.
The only cards you need are the ones you actually asked for because you were
interested in that person. As with most things, it is the quality that
counts--the quality of the interaction that leads to the desire for the contact
information.

Your cards have meaning. You likely do not want them being harvested for email
addresses for someone's database, right? Unless you have created quality
communication and/or a good fit for someone's immediate need, it is
unlikely that
your card will have meaning after the meeting.

Be selective in your practice of 'cardship'. Ask for the cards you want. Offer
one in return. There are very few occasions when you might thrust your card at
someone in the off-chance they might care. Develop the relationship first,
exchange cards second.

FOLLOW THROUGH WITH YOUR FOLLOW-UP

Be sure to contact the people who interested you once you have created rapport.
Send a note or postcard. Invite them to breakfast, coffee or lunch. Do this
within one week of meeting them if you possibly can.

It's a good practice to schedule two opportunities each week to meet with new
people you want to know more about. When you do meet, re-establish rapport
before
moving into doing business. And, once again, listen first..

Continue to make contact with folks. Send an article, a tip sheet, or fax
containing something that might interest them. When the relationship has some
foundation, then, you can begin to interest them in your business possibilities
together. People want to be known.

So back to the basic beginning, give first. Give folks the opportunity to tell
you about themselves and their work. Be curious. Follow the four steps
above and
you'll boost your memorability factor for sure.

Remember, it is not who you know, it's who knows you. People remember
people who
care. That's how the net works!

© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD All rights reserved

What have you created today?

What have you created today?

Whether you realize it or not, you've been very busy in the act of creation.
Perhaps you've been hard at work or maybe just hanging out "doing nothing,"
but either way you've actually been forging your future.
This ongoing construction of your destiny is taking place every moment of
every hour of your life, and the most significant source of your future
invention is your own individual consciousness.

Author: Sandra Anne Taylor and Sharon A. Klingler

just Quote

"Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter
least".
-- Goethe

"The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live."
-- Joan Borysenko

"It is just the little touches after the average man would quit that make
the masters fame"
-- Orison Sweet Marden

"The reason so many people never get anywhere in life is because when
opportunity knocks, they are out in the backyard looking for four-leaf
clovers."
-- Walter Chrysler

"What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of
little consequence. The only consequence is what we do."
-- John Ruskin

Help Others Feel Wanted and Important

jMost of us love to help others, but sometimes we're
afraid to step forward and offer. Yet, positive
recognition is something we all crave.

Linking up people who can help each other is one of
the ways to facilitate this recognition. So is
taking the time to find out what's unique about the
other person. Because the things we do seem so
common or easy to us, we are often blind to our own
special gifts, even when they're obvious to others
around us.

Taking a moment to discover and acknowledge that
uniqueness helps others to feel that their
contribution means something.

===================================
©1998-2003 Career Life Institute

PLAY TO YOUR STRENGTHS

Conventional wisdom says we should work on improving our weaknesses. This
is a terrible waste of time, talent and opportunity. Imagine what would
have happened if Chopin, Einstein, Chris Evert, or Pavarotti had followed
that advice. All these people devoted their life to developing their
natural strengths. As a result, they each were tops in their field.

Highly successful entrepreneurs, as well as top scientists, artists,
athletes and entertainers throughout history have achieved greatness by
focusing on their areas of strength.

We all have a special 'gift', yet you may not recognize your own aptitudes.
You might think that all of us can see and appreciate the subtleties of
color the same as you. You may not realize some of us are not as graceful
as you. You might believe that all people are able to effortlessly grow a
beautiful garden.

How do you discover your natural talents? First, write down a list of those
things you do that seem easy for you. Often the tasks that seem almost
effortless are those for which we have a special aptitude.
Next, make a list of those things you do where time just seems to fly by.
This is a good clue to activities in which you have natural talent.

Finally, write down all the activities that make you happy. These are the
tasks you would do just for yourself, with no promise of gain, just because
they're fun, interesting and fulfilling.

Look through the three lists to find the common activities. These are
likely to be the areas of your natural aptitudes and talents. Imagine
spending most of your time developing and playing at something that makes
you happy, where time flies and all is easy for you. Wow!

Don't get caught up in the old advice to work on your weaknesses. Hire
someone who is good where you are weak. Delegate tasks you don't enjoy to
others who do enjoy those things. Automate the repetitious tasks. Contract
out the chores you are not great at doing.

Working to develop your natural talents is self rewarding and motivating,
allowing you to continually realize higher and higher levels of ability,
achievement and success. You will be happier and the recipients of your
work, your customers, will reward you for your excellence. What a
combination; doing what you love and people paying you for it!
Focus on your strengths. Experience the immense satisfaction that comes
with being superb at something.

by Gary Lockwood

Two Personality Powers for Motivating Others

By: Brian Tracy

There are two powers of personality you can develop that will increase your
charisma and your ability to influence others.

Decide Exactly What You Want
The first of these powers is the power of purpose. Men and women with
charisma and personal magnetism almost invariably have a clear vision of
who they are, of where they're going and of what they're trying to achieve.
Leaders in sales and management have a vision of what they're trying to
create and why they're doing what they're doing. They're focused on
accomplishing some great purpose. They're decisive about every aspect of
their lives. They know exactly what they want and what they have to do to
get it. They plan their work and work their plan.

Set Clear Goals For Yourself
You can increase your charisma and the magnetism of your personality by
setting clear goals for yourself, making plans to achieve them, and working
on your plans with discipline and determination every day. The whole world
seems to move aside for the person who knows exactly where he is going. In
fact, the clearer you are about your purposes and goals, the more likely
people will be to attribute other positive qualities to you. They will see
you, or perceive you, as being a better and more admirable human being. And
when you have clear goals, you begin attracting to yourself the people and
opportunities necessary to make those goals a reality.

Believe in Yourself
The second personality power is self-confidence. Men and women with
charisma have an intense belief in themselves and in what they are doing.
They are usually calm, cool and composed about themselves and their work.
Your level of self-confidence is often demonstrated in your courage, your
willingness to do whatever is necessary to achieve a purpose that you
believe in.

The Secret of Attraction
People are naturally attracted to those who exude a sense of
self-confidence, those who have an unshakable belief in their ability to
rise above circumstances to attain their goals.

Assume the Result in Advance
One of the ways you demonstrate self-confidence is by assuming that people
naturally like you and accept you and want to do business with you. For
example, one of the most powerful ways to close a sale is simply to assume
that the prospect has decided to purchase the product or service, and then
go on to wrap up the details. One of the best ways to achieve success in
your relationships is to assume that people naturally enjoy your company
and want to be around you, and then proceed on that basis. The very act of
behaving in a self-confident manner will generate personal charisma in the
eyes of others.

Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action:

First, think on paper. Write out your goals and plans in detail and then
review them regularly. Discuss them with others. Upgrade your goals and
plans and revise them when you get new information. Be clear about them.

Second, express your level of self-confidence to others all the time, even
if you have doubts inside. Always walk, talk, act and move like a winner,
like a person who is absolutely confident of success and ultimate victory.

Accepting Yourself Unconditionally

How Are You Treated By Others?
Self-acceptance begins in infancy, with the influence of your parents and
siblings and other important people.

Your own level of self-acceptance is determined largely by how well you
feel you are accepted by the important people in your life.

Your attitude toward yourself is determined largely by the attitudes that
you think other people have toward you. When you believe that other people
think highly of you, your level of self-acceptance and self-esteem goes
straight up.

The best way to build a healthy personality involves understanding yourself
and your feelings.

Let the Light Shine In
This is achieved through the simple exercise of self-disclosure. For you to
truly understand yourself, or to stop being troubled by things that may
have happened in your past, you must be able to disclose yourself to at
least one person. You have to be able to get those things off your chest.
You must rid yourself of those thoughts and feelings by revealing them to
someone who won't make you feel guilty or ashamed for what has happened.

Understand What Makes You Tick
The second part of personality development follows from self-disclosure,
and it's called self-awareness. Only when you can disclose what you're
truly thinking and feeling to someone else can you become aware of those
thoughts and emotions If the other person simply listens to you without
commenting or criticizing, you have the opportunity to become more aware of
the person you are and why you do the things you do. You begin to develop
perspective, or what the Buddhists call "detachment."

Be Honest With Yourself
Now we come to the good part. After you've gone through self-disclosure to
self-awareness, you arrive at self-acceptance. You accept yourself for the
person you are, with good points and bad points, with strengths and
weaknesses, and with the normal frailties of a human being. When you
develop the ability to stand back and look at yourself honestly, and to
candidly admit to others that you may not be perfect but you're all you've
got, you start to enjoy a heightened sense of self-acceptance.

Do An Inventory of Your Accomplishments
A valuable exercise for developing higher levels of self-acceptance
involves doing an inventory of yourself. In doing this inventory, your job
is to accentuate the positive and minimize the negative.

Think of your unique talents and abilities. Think of your core skills, the
things that you do exceptionally well that account for your success in your
profession and in your personal life right now.

Think About Your Future
Think about your future possibilities and the fact that your potential is
virtually unlimited. You can do what you want to do and go where you want
to go. You can be the person you want to be. You can set large and small
goals and make plans and move step-by-step, progressively toward their
realization. There are no obstacles to what you can accomplish except the
obstacles that you create in your mind.

Action Exercises
Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action:

First, sit down with your spouse, or a good friend, and tell him or her
about something that is troubling you and is still causing you unhappiness.

Second, develop perspective on your problem by standing back from it and
imagining that it was happening to someone else. What advice would you give
to that person?

Third, think continually about the good experiences and accomplishments you
have enjoyed in the past. Remind yourself regularly that you are a pretty
good person and you've done a lot of good things in your life.

Author: Brian Tracy

4 Essentials for Happiness

You may have a thousand different goals over the course of your lifetime,
but they all will fall into one of four basic categories. Everything you do
is an attempt to enhance the quality of your life in one or more of these
areas.

The Key to Happiness
The first category is your desire for happy relationships. You want to love
and be loved by others. You want to have a happy, harmonious home life. You
want to get along well with the people around you, and you want to earn the
respect of the people you respect. Your involvement in social and community
affairs results from your desire to have happy interactions with others and
to make a contribution to the society you live in.

Enjoy Your Work
The second category is your desire for interesting and challenging work.
You want to make a good living, of course, but more than that, you want to
really enjoy your occupation or profession. The very best times of your
life are when you are completely absorbed in your work.

Become Financially Independent
The third category is your desire for financial independence. You want to
be free from worries about money. You want to have enough money in the bank
so that you can make decisions without counting your pennies. You want to
achieve a certain financial state so that you can retire in comfort and
never have to be concerned about whether or not you have enough money to
support your lifestyle. Financial independence frees you from poverty and a
need to depend upon others for your livelihood. If you save and invest
regularly throughout your working life, you will eventually reach the point
where you will never have to work again.

Enjoy Excellent Health
The fourth and final category is your desire for good health, to be free of
pain and illness and to have a continuous flow of energy and feelings of
well-being. In fact, your health is so central to your life that you take
it for granted until something happens to disrupt it.

Peace of Mind is the Key
Peace of mind is essential for every one of these. The greater your peace
of mind, the more relaxed and positive you are, the less stress you suffer,
the better is your overall health.

The more peace of mind you have, the better are your relationships, the
more optimistic, friendly and confident you are with everyone in your life.
When you feel good about yourself on the inside, you do your work better
and take more pride in it. You are a better boss and coworker. And the
greater your overall peace of mind, the more likely you are to earn a good
living, save regularly for the future and ultimately achieve financial
independence.

Control Your Attention
Life is very much a study of attention. Whatever you dwell upon and think
about grows and expands in your life. The more you pay attention to your
relationships, the quality and quantity of your work, your finances and
your health, the better they will become and the happier you will be.

Action Exercises
Here are three things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, take time on a regular basis to think about what would make you
really happy in each of the four areas.

Second, set specific, measurable goals for improvement in your
relationships, your health, your work and your finances and write them down.

Third, resolve to do something every day to increase the quality of some
area of your life - and then keep your resolution.

Author: Brian Tracy

The End of Procrastination!

People often ask me how to over-come procrastination to
achieve their goals and create the life they truly want.
This week, I discovered two of the essential steps to
dealing with procrastination and making your dreams come
true.

The situation is familiar: We have a vision or goal, and
we know it is within our reach. It may not be simple or
easy, but we KNOW it's possible - if only we would get
started. But we don't. We procrastinate. We plan and
dream and talk, but we fail to take action. Time passes,
things don't change and we berate ourselves in frustration!

That is no way to live your life! Let's look at some
solutions.

Step One: Power comes from Purpose!

This week I talked with three people who have big dreams
and wonderful ideas, but they've taken no action. As we
talked, I realized they have no powerful, passionate
REASONS to succeed. No rational person works long and
hard without a good reason!

They each thought they had reasons. Their dreams are
creative and would make them rich if they succeeded. Their
families support them, and they thought their 'reasons to
succeed' were obvious, but their reasons were really just
cliches, and cliches have no real power in them!

Power comes from purpose! The power to get up early, stay
late, and work hard to achieve a distant goal comes from
your heart. It comes from knowing your purpose, your
REASONS for doing it!

When a teenager wants to make the basketball team, or a
mother wants a doctor for her sick child, or we NEED a
college education, human beings will find a way. But
'nice' goals are not enough.

The power to over-come procrastination, take action, find
solutions and keep going comes from one source: Living
your life on PURPOSE! When you know WHY, you'll find
the HOW!

Step Two: Become a Player!

This is simple: are you an amateur, or a pro? Are you
serious, or are you dabbling? Are you committed, or merely
interested? The answers make all the difference.

Again, I've recently talked with several people who claim
to have a sense of purpose behind their goals, but I don't
think they truly mean it. They 'dabble' and leave no
tracks in the sand.

They tell a great story, and they seem committed, but their
actions are not consistent. At some level, they know that
dabbling rarely brings substantive results, and so they
postpone and procrastinate. Action that has no weight or
substance is hardly worth taking, so over the long-haul,
they make little or no effort to achieve their goals.

Don't be a lightweight! The ancient general, Hannibal, is
famous for taking his troops through impossible mountains
and is remembered for saying, 'We will find a way, or make
one.' He found a way!

To over-come procrastination, be a player! Put some weight
and time and money and skill behind your dreams and make
them happen! Life is not a rehearsal and there are no 'do-
overs'! If you have dreams that call you, be certain you
have enough REASONS to justify the investment, and then go
all out! Put your whole life into it! Procrastination cannot
survive in the face of a committed, determined human will!

Author: Dr Philip E. Humbert

Why Are You Doing This?

Every successful business leader has a clear answer to this
vital question: Why are you building this company? Who
does it serve and what's your greater purpose? Answering
these questions costs you very little, and it can pay huge
dividends.

For some entrepreneurs, the primary purpose is simply to
create a business that can be sold. They have a talent for
seeing a need and designing systems to meet the need while
making a profit, and they love starting new businesses.
Once the company is established, they often sell it and may
repeat the process again and again through the years.

Most business owners, however, have some other purpose in
mind, and it is often deeply personal. Some want to build
a company they can pass on to their children. Others want
to see how large and profitable they can make it, and they
dream of a vast enterprise with thousands of employees.
Still others, want a business that expresses their values
or contributes to society in some way.

In coaching hundreds of entrepreneurs, I am struck that it
does not seem to matter what the reason actually is. What
matters is the ability to keep it in sight at all times.
Knowing your personal vision, your purpose or mission, the
'reason why we do this', is absolutely critical.

The solution is simple: Keep your eyes on the prize! Step
back, gain perspective, renew your commitment. Remember
WHY you are doing this! If you are clear enough about the
'why', you'll figure out the 'how'.

Author: Dr Philip E. Humbert

Do Less, Live More

One of my favorite stories is that when Henry Thoreau told
his friend, Ralph Waldo Emerson, that the key to living
well was to 'simplify, simplify, simplify', Emerson
supposedly replied that, 'one simplify might have sufficed.'
I love the reminder that in many situations, less is more.

The mantra of our age seems to be, 'better, faster, cheaper
and more, more, more!', and the problem is that it's not
always helpful.

This week I told Mary that while the past few weeks have
been unusually busy, and very productive, I'm not having as
much fun as I would like. We are making more, but enjoying
it less, and that's not a good thing!

As we talked it through, it was clear that two different
processes were involved and we had to sort them out.

The first was being clear about our values.

We both love doing stuff, learning things, building things,
starting things. We love things that challenge us or
promise to enrich our lives, so we are suckers for every
great new idea that comes along - and there are lots of
great ideas!

But our values are not around glamour or excitement or
even, primarily around money or success. Our values tend
to be more about relationships, quality time, travel and
education, peace of mind and personal integrity, and the
problem is that our culture rarely encourages or talks
about those things.

The media tends to applaud public displays of wealth or
power or popularity, and our culture celebrates things that
result in 'progress' or tangible profit. And those are
good things! Don't get me wrong - I love both progress
and making a profit!

But, as Emerson observed, 'sometimes money costs too much.'
We noticed that in our rush to jump on several recent
opportunities, we were getting caught up in what Michael
Angier calls 'the thick of thin things' and it wasn't
working for us. A return to personal values is called for.

Secondly, we had failed to plan, and as the saying goes,
'those who fail to plan, are planning to fail.'

In our case, the failures were not obvious. In terms of
profits, we are doing very well, and that is exciting!
It's wonderful to see things come together and to receive
the applause of friends and business associates. It's fun,
it's good - and it's seductive.

We were off balance and off track. We were canceling
private time and postponing important priorities. We were
missing the joy of time together and the daily activities
we value. We had failed to plan, and so the distractions
of life were running away with our schedules, and again,
that is not a recipe for success!

So, we've cut back on activities and are talking about our
values every day. We talk about what we love, what we
cherish, what we stand for. It's not that we had forgotten
these things, but we have realized (again) that it is our
personal responsibility to align ourselves with our values,
and to do it on purpose, every day.

And, we have re-committed to investing time and money and
energy in the things that mean the MOST to us. We have re-
committed to planning our lives, to living from values, and
to making the most of our talents, our relationships, and the
opportunities to live well, rather than to being merely busy.

by Dr Philip Humbert

We Become What We Think About Most

There is great wisdom in the idea that 'we become what we
think about most of the time'. The human brain is a goal-
seeking, problem-solving machine, and the things we think
about, focus on, and worry about inevitably shape our
destiny. We all know this, and yet most of us completely
fail to see (or seize) the opportunity.

Most of us know the computer engineering phrase, 'GIGO',
which usually stands for 'Garbage In, Garbage Out'. If you
give a computer false data or confusing instructions, it
dutifully processes the 'garbage' you put in and gives you
'garbage' back out.

In human terms, however, the phrase can also stand for
'Good In, Good Out'. I like that interpretation much
better!

This week I've been contemplating the things most of us
'put in' to our lives.

As I get older, I may be getting cranky, but there does
seem to be an amazing amount of garbage in our society.
This is the 'awards season' in the entertainment industry
and I see various people, movies, songs and shows being
nominated, and I'm amazed at the garbage that is being
considered 'the best'. Do real people actually watch this
stuff? Do we listen to it, or sit on our couches and bring
it into our homes?

More importantly, do we permit it to enter our brains?

This week, I also had several emails and conversations with
people who really inspire me. One woman, age 67, wrote
that she was considering canceling her subscription to TIPS
because she was no longer going to have any goals except to
'do what I want, have fun and leave this world a little bit
better.' I wrote back that I thought that was 'one of the
noblest goals I've heard in a long time.' I hope she's
still a subscriber!

I talked with a man who is leaving a lucrative law practice
to teach high school math. He'll earn less, but as he
said, '(our) kids are grown, our expenses are down, and I
think I can contribute more that way, than in the boardrooms
where I've spent most of my life.' He's pursuing a grand
dream, and my guess is he'll have the best (and perhaps some
of the worst) days of his life! And he'll know he's alive!
Whoopee!

Several years ago, Michael Clark, gave me a wonderful
phrase. He said, 'When you do what you love, you'll never
work another day the rest of your life.' I love that, and
have (usually) found it to be true.

Sure, some things frustrate me, and sometimes I frustrate
myself, and life throws a curve once in a while, but doing
what we love, what we're good at, and what fulfills us,
changes everything!

In my opinion, if you truly desire to live well, to achieve
much and (perhaps) to make some real money, consider these
two propositions:

1. Refuse to fill your time, your life or your brain with
garbage. Read the best stuff. Talk with the healthiest,
wisest, smartest, most ambitious people you can. Attend
the seminars, learn from the experts! Listen to amazing
music. Sit quietly and listen to the whisperings of your
heart. Laugh a lot. Worship often, and be grateful.

2. Do what you love. You will make your biggest
contribution when you passionately pursue your talents and
use your strengths. Martin Luther King, Jr. did many great
things, but perhaps his greatest moment came in Washington,
DC when he proclaimed, 'I have a dream!' We all remember
that, and millions have been inspired by it. What's your
dream?

Some of us can change jobs or move around the world
whenever we wish. For others, there are responsibilities
and obligations and things take more time, but in the end,
life is to be lived and it requires our very best. Life,
and true success, will never settle for anything less.

By Dr Philip E. Humbert

Away from Failure Toward Success

Away from Failure ----->----->----->----->-----> Toward Success

How do you motivate yourself? Are you moving away from failure, and
thinking how much you don't want poverty, boredom, or embarrassment? Or are
you motivated by, and moving toward success and thinking of healthy
relationships, accomplishment, financial security?

Keep in mind moving away from and moving toward are both useful motivation
strategies. For example, moving away from a dangerous situation is a very
healthy thing to do. However, if this is the ONLY way you motivate
yourself, then you are likely to be suffering from an abundance of anxiety
and stress.

Given your understanding now of how the Unconscious works, you will realise
the value of having a strong towards motivator. Studies of highly effective
people show that, in fact, they utilise BOTH moving away from and moving
towards simultaneously. Not only does this double the motivation power, it
is also setting a very clear direction.

Thirty years ago Martin Luther King wanted to strongly move away from
oppression and toward his dream of a society where all people are treated
equal. By setting a very clear direction he motivated millions to change
the course of American history.

In our experience most people have had plenty of practice moving away from
what they don't want with little or no direction to their life. This
article has given you an opportunity to use NLP to change your thinking so
that you can have want you want... or want more of. It worked for Anthony
Robbins...and it can work for you!
CIRCLES OF EXCELLENCE
Here's how you can have a really resourceful state of mind and body at any
time you really need it: For that job interview, for that big presentation,
for that infuriating customer, for that important date tonight!

Choose the state, feelings and behaviour you want to have BEFORE you go
into any situation by following this simple procedure.

You can do this exercise on your own; however, it can be useful to have a
friend talk you through the steps the first time.

Stand, with about 6 feet of floor space in front of you.

1a. Imagine a circle on the floor immediately in front of you. Give the
circle a colour. Make it bright, shining or whatever makes it visually
attractive.

1b. Pick a word or short phrase that symbolises an appropriately powerful
state for you. It might be "Go For It", or "Relaxed" or "Yes!", or
"Success" etc.

2. Now, recall a time when you felt "on top of the world," or "firing on
all cylinders," or some other empowered state. Go for a really good
memory--perhaps one of those times when you exceeded even your own
expectations!

3. Imagine yourself back at that time. See what you were seeing then, hear
what you were hearing, feel what you were feeling. If there were any smells
or tastes, imagine those as well. Notice what you were doing and what you
were thinking at the time.

4. As your sense of being in this excellent state begins to build - Take a
deep breath, say your code word and step into the circle in front of you.

5. Stand in the circle and INTENSIFY the memory, re-living those moments
and enjoying those feelings that come naturally from doing something really
well.

6. Now, imagine another circle with the same characteristics as the first
and repeat Steps 2 to 5 with a different empowering memory. TAKE ALL OF THE
FEELINGS FROM THE FIRST EXPERIENCE WITH YOU as you step into the second
circle.

7. Repeat with a third circle and another resourceful memory.

8. Now think of a future situation where you want to be at your best and
imagine yourself performing in the state you are experiencing now. Doesn't
it go well?

Modified from Charlotte Bretto "A Framework For Excellence" (1988)

What's Beyond Your USP?

I was talking with Mark Joyner, about a new direction for my career.
Now that I've gone through the phases of being a
hypnotic writer, an outrageous marketer, a hypnotic
marketer and a spiritual marketer, what's next for me?

"What's your USP?" Mark asked me.

A USP is a "unique selling proposition." It's one line
that states what you do that is different than what
your competition does. Rosser Reeves invented the term
in the 1950s. Dan Kenney, Jay Abraham and myself have
used it to help our clients get clear about what their
business offers. Mark was helping me to do the same
thing with my own business.

"I've gone through so many USPs that today I don't
even use one," I explained. "I was thinking of just
dropping it altogether."

Mark didn't miss a beat.

"What is Wayne Dyer's USP?" he asked me.

"I have no idea," I replied. "He's a self-help author
of many best-selling books."

"That's right," Mark said. "And what is Deepak
Chopra's USP?"

Again, I couldn't think of one. Deepak is a health
oriented author of many best-selling books. But
as for his USP, I had no idea. There are other
self-help authors and other health authors, so
what is unique about Dyer or Chopra is their
being, or essence, or brand.

Mark's questions were beginning to help me see that at
a certain point you can go beyond a need for a USP.
After all, when I thought about this, I couldn't decide
what the USP was for Dan Kennedy, Jay Abraham,
or even myself, and we're all spokespeople for the
need for USPs!

"What we're really talking about here is building your
own brand," Mark explained to me. "People are on your
email list because they want to know about you and what
you are doing. They are following Dr. Joe Vitale.
Focusing on your brand is probably wiser than
focusing on your USP at this time."

Mark is right, of course.

At a certain point in your business life you have to
leave the USP and focus on the brand. After all, even
Federal Express dropped their USP ("When you absolutely
need it overnight"), and Dominio's also dropped their
USP ("Fresh hot pizza delivered in 30 minutes or its
free"). Now they live on their brand images.

So, where are you?

Do you have a USP? Is it truly unique?
And have you had it long enough to drop it
and now create a brand for yourself?

The way to answer these questions is like this:

1. If you already have a USP, good for you.
Be sure it is truly unique. If no one else can
make the claim you do, than it is unique.

2. If you have been using your USP with
great success for more than ten years, you
may be already building a brand image.

3. If your USP has been in circulation over
ten years, your business is ripping and roaring
and making you a millionaire, then you can
consider going beyond your USP. It may
be time to now focus on your brand.

Now take an honest look at your business.
Where do you stand?

The next step is yours.
Go for it!

By Dr. Joe Vitale

Three Skills to Improve Conversation

One key to becoming a great conversationalist is to pause before replying.
A short pause, of three to five seconds, is a very classy thing to do in a
conversation. When you pause, you accomplish three goals simultaneously.

The Benefits of Pausing
First, you avoid running the risk of interrupting if the other person is
just catching his or her breath before continuing. Second, you show the
other person that you are giving careful consideration to his or her words
by not jumping in with your own comments at the earliest opportunity. The
third benefit of pausing is that you will actually hear the other person
better. His or her words will soak into a deeper level of your mind and you
will understand what he or she is saying with greater clarity. By pausing,
you mark yourself as a brilliant conversationalist.

Ask Questions
Another way to become a great conversationalist is to question for
clarification. Never assume that you understand what the person is saying
or trying to say. Instead, ask, "How do you mean, exactly?"

This is the most powerful question I've ever learned for controlling a
conversation. It is almost impossible not to answer. When you ask, "How do
you mean?" the other person cannot stop himself or herself from answering
more extensively. You can then follow up with other open-ended questions
and keep the conversation rolling along.

Paraphrase the Speaker's Words
The third way to become a great conversationalist is to paraphrase the
speaker's words in your own words. After you've nodded and smiled, you can
then say, "Let me see if I've got this right. What you're saying is . . ."

Demonstrate Attentiveness
By paraphrasing the speaker's words, you demonstrate in no uncertain terms
that you are genuinely paying attention and making every effort to
understand his or her thoughts or feelings. And the wonderful thing is,
when you practice effective listening, other people will begin to find you
fascinating. They will want to be around you. They will feel relaxed and
happy in your presence.

Listening Builds Trust
The reason why listening is such a powerful tool in developing the art and
skill of conversation is because listening builds trust. The more you
listen to another person, the more he or she trusts you and believes in you.

Listening also builds self-esteem. When you listen attentively to another
person, his or her self-esteem will naturally increase.

Listening Develops Discipline
Finally, listening builds self-discipline in the listener. Because your
mind can process words at 500-600 words per minute, and we can only talk at
about 150 words per minute, it takes a real effort to keep your attention
focused on another person's words. If you do not practice self-discipline
in conversation, your mind will wander in a hundred different directions.
The more you work at paying close attention to what the other person is
saying, the more self-disciplined you will become. In other words, by
learning to listen well, you actually develop your own character and your
own personality.

Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, make a habit of pausing before replying in any conversation or
discussion. You will be amazed at how powerful this technique really is.

Second, continually ask, "How do you mean?" in response to anything that is
not perfectly clear. This gives you even more time to listen well.

By: Brian Tracy

Annika's Triumph

Last week, the world witnessed an amazing thing. The human
spirit dramatically triumphed over bureaucracy, inertia,
fear and complacency. As I watched Annika Sorenstam handle
the pressure at the Colonial golf tournament with grace and
humor, I was humbled and profoundly moved.

And I was reminded that what we saw should NOT be unusual!
What we watched ought to be the ORDINARY human experience!
Nothing that Annika did, or sought to do, required anything
beyond the capacities we all enjoy every single day. The
only question is, 'Do we use them, or do we waste them?'

Oh, sure, you can quibble that her strength and athletic
talent are far beyond anything we will ever know. Of course
her ability to get a golf ball in the hole is astonishing,
but her physical talent is a small thing compared to her
willingness to test herself and explore the limits of her
potential. THAT is the impressive part!

Annika is the best woman golfer in the world, probably the
best to ever play the game. She is young, rich, talented
and famous. She is at the extreme pinnacle of her sport,
respected and admired around the world. That takes hard
work, discipline and skill, so why take risks? Why not play
safe, enjoy the fame, soak in the glory, spend the money,
and be comfortable? That's what most of us do, most of the
time.

For whatever reason, Annika chose to do something
different. She set a goal, a terribly public goal, one that
challenged tradition and held enormous risks for her, for
her sport, her friends and her colleagues, and she triumphed!

What exactly did Annika do? Here are the things that
absolutely awed me, and make me proud of what we humans can
do when we choose:

1. Knowing the risks, she DECIDED to test herself.

Most of us, most of the time, avoid risk, and too often, we
really don't want to discover the limits of our ability. We
want to do well, achieve a modicum of power, wealth or
respect, and then protect what we have. Abraham Maslow said
that 'security' is one of the most basic human needs, and
we DO want to protect and preserve what we have. The
decision, especially when it is consciously and freely
made, to test the limits is both rare, and awesome.

Lindbergh, to Sir Edmund Hillary and modern astronauts, the
decision to risk it all by pushing the limits of our
strength, endurance, courage and ability inspires us. Few
ever make the decision or take the risks. Annika did.

2. Respecting the enormous challenge, she PERSISTED.

Annika didn't just decide to enter the tournament, hit a
few balls and then go home. She set a goal, developed a
strategy, hired trainers and coaches to help her, and day
by day, she WORKED! Have you seen the 'before' and 'after'
pictures? Annika worked out every day. She trained HARD!
She respected the enormity of the challenge and responded
with discipline, persistence and hard, hard work.

3. She did it for PERSONAL reasons.

No one asked her to do this and many would have preferred
she not do it. Her goal was to find her limits and the fact
that she had to do it in such a public setting did not
change the nature of the challenge, except to make it
harder. She wanted to know how far she could go. Do you?
How often do we dare ask ourselves what is truly possible?

4. She did it with GRACE and BALANCE.

Did you see the interviews? Did you see her smile, her
laughter, her celebration? The challenge was not an
obsession or a matter of 'life or death', it was a quest to
find the upper limits of her potential and she did it with
humility and for the joy of it. That is very classy!

5. She TRIUMPHED!

Because her quest was, ultimately, a test of her own
potential, there was no possibility of 'failure', only
learning. She, and the world, learned a lot.

They say that women's golf will never be the same and that
may be true, although if that is all that changes, we will
have wasted an enormous opportunity. Annika gave us a
chance to see ourselves, and she threw down a challenge to
follow her in exploring the outer limits of possibility.

Written by Philip E. Humbert, PhD

TIPS FOR COMMUNCIATION SKILLS

SHINING SMILE: Always remember to smile brightly. A smile immediately makes
you more attractive. Furthermore, it makes you look more approachable and
like a nicer person. I know it's common sense BUT most of us spend our days
wading through life with scowls on our faces without even realising it. SMILE.

REMEMBER NAMES: Again simple stuff but why do we forget them? If is that
you 'just aren't any good' at remembering names? NOP… Most of the time it's
cause we never hear it, we are too busy inside our heads talking to
ourselves about something stupid. When you meet someone. Stop, listen to
their names, repeat it back as you look at them twice inside your head
firmly and once or twice out loud in conversation. It'll help you a lot.

RIGHT STATE: Remember when two people meet and one is awkward and one is
comfortable, the person in the strongest state will influence the other. So
when you are meeting anyone, get into a really comfortable state of mind
first and they will soon feel comfortable themselves.

MATCH UP: Something useful to remember is people like people who are like
themselves. So, to create better relationships with people: breath at the
same rate as them; talk at the same rate; match their posture. This
unconsciously sends them a signal of similarity and improves the rapport
between you.

FOCUS ON THEM: Take the opportunity to make them feel good about
themselves. Listen out for anything they seem proud of and drop an indirect
compliment their way. Act as if it's not meant as a compliment but you
truly believe it. People like people who make them feel good when they're
around.

KEY WORDS: Listen out for key words and key phrases they like to use and
use them back to them. Be careful though. Do not overdo it. Just
occasionally to keep them thinking you are thinking like them.

Source: Simply NLP

"I can never forgive him for that."

When Abigail was asked about her father, she wryly said, "I use
to miss him, but now my aim is better." Welcoming the opportunity
to vent, she explained how her father cruelly taunted her as a
child. She was constantly belittled and ridiculed and made to
feel worthless. "I can never forgive him for that." she went on
to add.

But which is more tragic, the alleged maltreatment Abigail
experienced as a child or her inability to forgive her dad? She
has been holding on to resentment for more than half a century!
By refusing to forgive her father, she is insisting on punishing
herself. Her anger toward her father is understandable, for
hatred is a vulnerable child's revenge for being intimated.

But Abigail is no longer a child. She can start thinking like an
adult by releasing her tight grip on painful childhood memories.
Yes, her father may have betrayed her, but today she betrays
herself by sucking the life out of herself and ruining her own
chance for happiness. How can anger and resentment help us?
Aren't they toxic? For those who refuse to forgive, Confucius
(BCE 551 ~ 479) issued this grave warning, "Before you embark on
a journey of revenge, dig two graves."

But how do we forgive others for the pain they have caused us? No
one taught us how in school. Besides, although there are many
logical arguments for forgiveness, logic has little power to
defeat emotional beliefs. It would help if we could recognize
that although we cannot change the past, we can change our
attitude toward it. But this too is a logical argument, so there
is little likelihood of it healing an extremely painful past.
Applying a sprinkling of logic to an emotionally painful past is
like applying a small band aid to third-degree burns.

Does that mean there is no hope for recovery? Not at all. In the
last 30 years, new and powerful tools have emerged that have made
personal transformation easier than ever.

If you have computer experience, you may have tried to save a new
file with the same name as an older file. When trying to do so,
you will usually be warned that if you continue, the new file
will overwrite the old one. That is, the new file will replace
the old one, and the old one will be erased from the computer's
memory.

Isn't our brain a computer? Aren't our memories files? Why not
overwrite painful memories (files)? To practice the "Overwriting
Your Past" application, we first have to place ourselves in the
alpha state (a state of relaxation). The instructions on how to
do so appeared in the previous issue, but for the benefit of
those who missed it, I am repeating them here (steps 1 ~ 3).

1. Find a place where you will not be disturbed. Shake out body
tension. Be seated and get as comfortable as possible. Close your
eyes and take three deep breaths.

2. Slowly inhale and imagine the number three flashing three
times as you slowly breathe out. Repeat this for number two (see
it flashing three times as you slowly exhale). Next, repeat this
for number one.

3. Imagine sitting before a black curtain with a bowl of white
numbers (1 ~ 10) at your side. Reach into the bowl, take out
number one, stick it onto the curtain, and then remove it. Repeat
this with number two, continuing until you have done all ten
numbers.

Steps 1 ~ 3 remove your thoughts from the cares of the day, help
you enter a relaxed state (alpha), and prepare your mind to focus
on the "Overwriting Your Past" exercise. At this point you will
be prepared for the next step.

4. In your mind's eye or imagination, relive the painful memory.
Turn it into a movie. Watch it from beginning to end.

5. Now that it is a movie, play it in reverse. Try it in slow
motion and fast rewind.

6. Now play it in fast-forward. Notice how it takes on the almost
comical appearance of an old silent film.

7. Add music to your movie and change the scene to a carnival or
Mardi Gras atmosphere. Watch it in fast-forward and reverse.

8. Add props. Do you remember those funny plastic eyeglasses with
huge eyebrows and a huge nose? Place one on the antagonist in
your movie (in Abigail's case, she would see her father wearing
these ridiculous eyeglasses as he belittles her). Dress the
antagonist in an outrageous costume (perhaps as a clown). Watch
this new version of your movie in forward and reverse.
Tinker with the speed if you wish.

9. Add character voices to your movie. Change the lips of your
antagonist to the bill of a duck and give him or her a Donald or
Daffy Duck voice. Watch your new movie in forward and reverse.
Give the villain of your movie any other absurd voice you can
think of. Watch and enjoy!

As you practice the "Overwriting Your Past" application, you will
find that your original painful experience will slowly be
transformed into something funny. If not funny, something so
ridiculous that it is powerless to harm you.

Practice this application for 30 minutes a day for as long as
needed, which should be no longer than two or three weeks. Thirty
minutes a day for 21 days works out to just ten and a half hours.
That's less than half a day's work to end a problem that plagued
Abigail for more than 50 years! How powerful is this application?
If all you do is read about it, it is powerless to help. But if
you follow the steps and apply it to your life, like other NLP
tools, it is life transformational.

Do you, like Abigail, have a disturbing memory that haunts you
and holds you back from enjoying the limitless freedom and
happiness you deserve? If so, why not rewrite your life? Why not
overwrite your past? Why not set yourself free? After all, all
you have to lose is the chain that is holding you back.

Despite the usefulness and power of the "Overwrite Your Past"
application, it is not always the best approach for everyone.
After all, even in conventional and integrative medicine,
patients respond differently to the same form of treatment. So,
the more weapons in your arsenal or arrows in your quiver, the
greater your likelihood of success. With that aim in mind, here
are more techniques to cleanse you from the toxicity of holding a
grudge. I'll divide the techniques into three groups:
Compassionate, Psychological, and Spiritual.

1. Compassionate
a) The Deathbed Visualization. Buddha asked, if you realize
everyone will die, how can you treat them cruelly? With that
thought in mind, Buddhist monks practice a 'Deathbed
Visualization.' That is, if they are the object of cruelty, they
imagine the perpetrator on his or her deathbed. Such an image
evokes compassion rather than anger. Don't those who are drowning
flail about wildly? They don't wish to drown their rescuers;
their wild behavior is caused by their desperate attempts to
survive. So it is with those who are cruel to us. They are on
their deathbed. Confused, they are drowning in the sea of life,
wildly flailing about, wildly striking out, desperately trying to
survive in the only way they know how. With this realization, how
can we be angry with them? How can we refuse to forgive them?

b) The Loving Kindness Meditation. One of the best ways to
cultivate forgiveness is through the Buddhist Loving Kindness
Meditation. Fortunately, there is much information dealing with
this subject on the Internet. For simple instructions on how to
perform this meditation, visit:
http://dharma.ncf.ca/introduction/instructions/metta.html. To
listen to an example, play the audio file of a Loving Kindness
Mediation that is at:
http://www.beliefnet.com/story/32/story_3248_1.html#.

2. Psychological
a) Understanding the Cause of Pain. A kicked dog bites not
because it is vicious, but because it is defending itself.
Similarly, most of the people who act cruelly do so not because
they are mean-spirited, but because, like the dog, they have been
injured in the past and remain in emotional pain.

Whenever we have to bear the brunt of a cruel remark, it helps to
ask ourselves, "What could have happened to make that person act
that way?" By reminding ourselves that cruelty flows from pain,
it becomes far easier to forgive.

b) People Just Do Their Best under the Circumstances. We are not
perfect. Sometimes we act stupidly and hurt others. Not because
we're bad, but because we do the best we can at any particular
time. If we cannot control our own behavior, how can we become
offended by someone who is guilty of the same offense? Here's a
good habit to get into: whenever someone offends you, in your
mind state the offense and add the phase "just like me." For
example, if someone is upsetting you because they are hogging the
conversation and not giving you a chance to speak, rather than
getting upset, say to yourself, "They are hogging the
conversation and not giving others a chance to speak... just like
me." You see, the plain truth is what we don't like about others
is what we don't like about ourselves. But because we don't like
to admit our faults (even if it is only to ourself), we project
them on others. Take advantage of this fact by using the world as
a mirror for self- improvement. In other words, when you don't
like the behavior of others, repeat the "...just like me."
sentence in your mind, and in your heart thank them for pointing
out an area that you can improve on.

c) Understand the Cause of Your Pain Is Not the External World,
but Your Internal World. Most of us are somewhat fragmented. It
is almost like having multiple personalities. There is the person
we REALLY are, the person we THINK we are, and the person we
PRETEND to be.

Also, for a detailed look at our fragmented, many selves and how
to heal or integrate them, see: THE MISSING PIECE, Solving the
Puzzle of Self, by Claudia Black, Ph.D. and Leslie Drozd, Ph.D.,
Ballantine Books, 1995. By learning how to forgive ourselves, we
will become well equipped to forgive others.

d) Hypnosis. Another tool employed by NLP Practitioners is
hypnosis. If you're looking for a good, FREE, software package
that will hypnotize you, give you hypnotic suggestions (that you
can edit or create), and wake you up, look no further than
Virtual Hypnotist. You can learn all about it and download it at:
http://vhypno.sourceforge.net/. You can use self-hypnosis to
improve yourself in all areas of life. But before embarking on an
auto-hypnosis odyssey, be sure to study the basics. One book that
will give you a solid and comprehensive view of hypnosis is
"SELF-HYPNOSIS for the Life You Want" by Charles E. Henderson,
Ph.D., Biocentrix, 2003.

3. Spiritual
a) Acceptance. The main teaching of Buddhism and Taoism is
acceptance. That is, we accept what cannot be changed. No
complaints, no whining, no struggle. On the contrary, we embrace
what is and "go with the flow." If we unconditionally accept
everyone we deal with, there will be no need for forgiveness.
What's more, when we accept life, rather than fight against it,
we will not experience frustration and bitterness.

b) Transcendence. The spiritual path is one of transcendence.
That is, we seek to become more than we are, greater than we are,
nobler than we are. What better way to uplift ourselves and
change desperation into inspiration than by forgiveness? For as
Edwin Hubbel Chapin (1814 ~ 1880) wrote, "Never does the human
soul appear so strong and noble as when it forgoes revenge and
dares to forgive an injury." Consider also the following words
found in Hindu scripture (the Mahabharata), "Forgiveness subdues
all in this world; what is there that forgiveness cannot achieve?
What can a wicked person do unto him who carries the sabre
(saber) of forgiveness in his hand? Fire falling on the grassless
ground is extinguished of itself. An unforgiving individual
defiles himself with many enormities. Righteousness is the one
highest good; and forgiveness is the one supreme peace; knowledge
is one supreme contentment; and benevolence, one sole happiness."

By Chuck Gallozzi