Away from Failure Toward Success

Away from Failure ----->----->----->----->-----> Toward Success

How do you motivate yourself? Are you moving away from failure, and
thinking how much you don't want poverty, boredom, or embarrassment? Or are
you motivated by, and moving toward success and thinking of healthy
relationships, accomplishment, financial security?

Keep in mind moving away from and moving toward are both useful motivation
strategies. For example, moving away from a dangerous situation is a very
healthy thing to do. However, if this is the ONLY way you motivate
yourself, then you are likely to be suffering from an abundance of anxiety
and stress.

Given your understanding now of how the Unconscious works, you will realise
the value of having a strong towards motivator. Studies of highly effective
people show that, in fact, they utilise BOTH moving away from and moving
towards simultaneously. Not only does this double the motivation power, it
is also setting a very clear direction.

Thirty years ago Martin Luther King wanted to strongly move away from
oppression and toward his dream of a society where all people are treated
equal. By setting a very clear direction he motivated millions to change
the course of American history.

In our experience most people have had plenty of practice moving away from
what they don't want with little or no direction to their life. This
article has given you an opportunity to use NLP to change your thinking so
that you can have want you want... or want more of. It worked for Anthony
Robbins...and it can work for you!
CIRCLES OF EXCELLENCE
Here's how you can have a really resourceful state of mind and body at any
time you really need it: For that job interview, for that big presentation,
for that infuriating customer, for that important date tonight!

Choose the state, feelings and behaviour you want to have BEFORE you go
into any situation by following this simple procedure.

You can do this exercise on your own; however, it can be useful to have a
friend talk you through the steps the first time.

Stand, with about 6 feet of floor space in front of you.

1a. Imagine a circle on the floor immediately in front of you. Give the
circle a colour. Make it bright, shining or whatever makes it visually
attractive.

1b. Pick a word or short phrase that symbolises an appropriately powerful
state for you. It might be "Go For It", or "Relaxed" or "Yes!", or
"Success" etc.

2. Now, recall a time when you felt "on top of the world," or "firing on
all cylinders," or some other empowered state. Go for a really good
memory--perhaps one of those times when you exceeded even your own
expectations!

3. Imagine yourself back at that time. See what you were seeing then, hear
what you were hearing, feel what you were feeling. If there were any smells
or tastes, imagine those as well. Notice what you were doing and what you
were thinking at the time.

4. As your sense of being in this excellent state begins to build - Take a
deep breath, say your code word and step into the circle in front of you.

5. Stand in the circle and INTENSIFY the memory, re-living those moments
and enjoying those feelings that come naturally from doing something really
well.

6. Now, imagine another circle with the same characteristics as the first
and repeat Steps 2 to 5 with a different empowering memory. TAKE ALL OF THE
FEELINGS FROM THE FIRST EXPERIENCE WITH YOU as you step into the second
circle.

7. Repeat with a third circle and another resourceful memory.

8. Now think of a future situation where you want to be at your best and
imagine yourself performing in the state you are experiencing now. Doesn't
it go well?

Modified from Charlotte Bretto "A Framework For Excellence" (1988)

What's Beyond Your USP?

I was talking with Mark Joyner, about a new direction for my career.
Now that I've gone through the phases of being a
hypnotic writer, an outrageous marketer, a hypnotic
marketer and a spiritual marketer, what's next for me?

"What's your USP?" Mark asked me.

A USP is a "unique selling proposition." It's one line
that states what you do that is different than what
your competition does. Rosser Reeves invented the term
in the 1950s. Dan Kenney, Jay Abraham and myself have
used it to help our clients get clear about what their
business offers. Mark was helping me to do the same
thing with my own business.

"I've gone through so many USPs that today I don't
even use one," I explained. "I was thinking of just
dropping it altogether."

Mark didn't miss a beat.

"What is Wayne Dyer's USP?" he asked me.

"I have no idea," I replied. "He's a self-help author
of many best-selling books."

"That's right," Mark said. "And what is Deepak
Chopra's USP?"

Again, I couldn't think of one. Deepak is a health
oriented author of many best-selling books. But
as for his USP, I had no idea. There are other
self-help authors and other health authors, so
what is unique about Dyer or Chopra is their
being, or essence, or brand.

Mark's questions were beginning to help me see that at
a certain point you can go beyond a need for a USP.
After all, when I thought about this, I couldn't decide
what the USP was for Dan Kennedy, Jay Abraham,
or even myself, and we're all spokespeople for the
need for USPs!

"What we're really talking about here is building your
own brand," Mark explained to me. "People are on your
email list because they want to know about you and what
you are doing. They are following Dr. Joe Vitale.
Focusing on your brand is probably wiser than
focusing on your USP at this time."

Mark is right, of course.

At a certain point in your business life you have to
leave the USP and focus on the brand. After all, even
Federal Express dropped their USP ("When you absolutely
need it overnight"), and Dominio's also dropped their
USP ("Fresh hot pizza delivered in 30 minutes or its
free"). Now they live on their brand images.

So, where are you?

Do you have a USP? Is it truly unique?
And have you had it long enough to drop it
and now create a brand for yourself?

The way to answer these questions is like this:

1. If you already have a USP, good for you.
Be sure it is truly unique. If no one else can
make the claim you do, than it is unique.

2. If you have been using your USP with
great success for more than ten years, you
may be already building a brand image.

3. If your USP has been in circulation over
ten years, your business is ripping and roaring
and making you a millionaire, then you can
consider going beyond your USP. It may
be time to now focus on your brand.

Now take an honest look at your business.
Where do you stand?

The next step is yours.
Go for it!

By Dr. Joe Vitale

Three Skills to Improve Conversation

One key to becoming a great conversationalist is to pause before replying.
A short pause, of three to five seconds, is a very classy thing to do in a
conversation. When you pause, you accomplish three goals simultaneously.

The Benefits of Pausing
First, you avoid running the risk of interrupting if the other person is
just catching his or her breath before continuing. Second, you show the
other person that you are giving careful consideration to his or her words
by not jumping in with your own comments at the earliest opportunity. The
third benefit of pausing is that you will actually hear the other person
better. His or her words will soak into a deeper level of your mind and you
will understand what he or she is saying with greater clarity. By pausing,
you mark yourself as a brilliant conversationalist.

Ask Questions
Another way to become a great conversationalist is to question for
clarification. Never assume that you understand what the person is saying
or trying to say. Instead, ask, "How do you mean, exactly?"

This is the most powerful question I've ever learned for controlling a
conversation. It is almost impossible not to answer. When you ask, "How do
you mean?" the other person cannot stop himself or herself from answering
more extensively. You can then follow up with other open-ended questions
and keep the conversation rolling along.

Paraphrase the Speaker's Words
The third way to become a great conversationalist is to paraphrase the
speaker's words in your own words. After you've nodded and smiled, you can
then say, "Let me see if I've got this right. What you're saying is . . ."

Demonstrate Attentiveness
By paraphrasing the speaker's words, you demonstrate in no uncertain terms
that you are genuinely paying attention and making every effort to
understand his or her thoughts or feelings. And the wonderful thing is,
when you practice effective listening, other people will begin to find you
fascinating. They will want to be around you. They will feel relaxed and
happy in your presence.

Listening Builds Trust
The reason why listening is such a powerful tool in developing the art and
skill of conversation is because listening builds trust. The more you
listen to another person, the more he or she trusts you and believes in you.

Listening also builds self-esteem. When you listen attentively to another
person, his or her self-esteem will naturally increase.

Listening Develops Discipline
Finally, listening builds self-discipline in the listener. Because your
mind can process words at 500-600 words per minute, and we can only talk at
about 150 words per minute, it takes a real effort to keep your attention
focused on another person's words. If you do not practice self-discipline
in conversation, your mind will wander in a hundred different directions.
The more you work at paying close attention to what the other person is
saying, the more self-disciplined you will become. In other words, by
learning to listen well, you actually develop your own character and your
own personality.

Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, make a habit of pausing before replying in any conversation or
discussion. You will be amazed at how powerful this technique really is.

Second, continually ask, "How do you mean?" in response to anything that is
not perfectly clear. This gives you even more time to listen well.

By: Brian Tracy

Annika's Triumph

Last week, the world witnessed an amazing thing. The human
spirit dramatically triumphed over bureaucracy, inertia,
fear and complacency. As I watched Annika Sorenstam handle
the pressure at the Colonial golf tournament with grace and
humor, I was humbled and profoundly moved.

And I was reminded that what we saw should NOT be unusual!
What we watched ought to be the ORDINARY human experience!
Nothing that Annika did, or sought to do, required anything
beyond the capacities we all enjoy every single day. The
only question is, 'Do we use them, or do we waste them?'

Oh, sure, you can quibble that her strength and athletic
talent are far beyond anything we will ever know. Of course
her ability to get a golf ball in the hole is astonishing,
but her physical talent is a small thing compared to her
willingness to test herself and explore the limits of her
potential. THAT is the impressive part!

Annika is the best woman golfer in the world, probably the
best to ever play the game. She is young, rich, talented
and famous. She is at the extreme pinnacle of her sport,
respected and admired around the world. That takes hard
work, discipline and skill, so why take risks? Why not play
safe, enjoy the fame, soak in the glory, spend the money,
and be comfortable? That's what most of us do, most of the
time.

For whatever reason, Annika chose to do something
different. She set a goal, a terribly public goal, one that
challenged tradition and held enormous risks for her, for
her sport, her friends and her colleagues, and she triumphed!

What exactly did Annika do? Here are the things that
absolutely awed me, and make me proud of what we humans can
do when we choose:

1. Knowing the risks, she DECIDED to test herself.

Most of us, most of the time, avoid risk, and too often, we
really don't want to discover the limits of our ability. We
want to do well, achieve a modicum of power, wealth or
respect, and then protect what we have. Abraham Maslow said
that 'security' is one of the most basic human needs, and
we DO want to protect and preserve what we have. The
decision, especially when it is consciously and freely
made, to test the limits is both rare, and awesome.

Lindbergh, to Sir Edmund Hillary and modern astronauts, the
decision to risk it all by pushing the limits of our
strength, endurance, courage and ability inspires us. Few
ever make the decision or take the risks. Annika did.

2. Respecting the enormous challenge, she PERSISTED.

Annika didn't just decide to enter the tournament, hit a
few balls and then go home. She set a goal, developed a
strategy, hired trainers and coaches to help her, and day
by day, she WORKED! Have you seen the 'before' and 'after'
pictures? Annika worked out every day. She trained HARD!
She respected the enormity of the challenge and responded
with discipline, persistence and hard, hard work.

3. She did it for PERSONAL reasons.

No one asked her to do this and many would have preferred
she not do it. Her goal was to find her limits and the fact
that she had to do it in such a public setting did not
change the nature of the challenge, except to make it
harder. She wanted to know how far she could go. Do you?
How often do we dare ask ourselves what is truly possible?

4. She did it with GRACE and BALANCE.

Did you see the interviews? Did you see her smile, her
laughter, her celebration? The challenge was not an
obsession or a matter of 'life or death', it was a quest to
find the upper limits of her potential and she did it with
humility and for the joy of it. That is very classy!

5. She TRIUMPHED!

Because her quest was, ultimately, a test of her own
potential, there was no possibility of 'failure', only
learning. She, and the world, learned a lot.

They say that women's golf will never be the same and that
may be true, although if that is all that changes, we will
have wasted an enormous opportunity. Annika gave us a
chance to see ourselves, and she threw down a challenge to
follow her in exploring the outer limits of possibility.

Written by Philip E. Humbert, PhD

TIPS FOR COMMUNCIATION SKILLS

SHINING SMILE: Always remember to smile brightly. A smile immediately makes
you more attractive. Furthermore, it makes you look more approachable and
like a nicer person. I know it's common sense BUT most of us spend our days
wading through life with scowls on our faces without even realising it. SMILE.

REMEMBER NAMES: Again simple stuff but why do we forget them? If is that
you 'just aren't any good' at remembering names? NOP… Most of the time it's
cause we never hear it, we are too busy inside our heads talking to
ourselves about something stupid. When you meet someone. Stop, listen to
their names, repeat it back as you look at them twice inside your head
firmly and once or twice out loud in conversation. It'll help you a lot.

RIGHT STATE: Remember when two people meet and one is awkward and one is
comfortable, the person in the strongest state will influence the other. So
when you are meeting anyone, get into a really comfortable state of mind
first and they will soon feel comfortable themselves.

MATCH UP: Something useful to remember is people like people who are like
themselves. So, to create better relationships with people: breath at the
same rate as them; talk at the same rate; match their posture. This
unconsciously sends them a signal of similarity and improves the rapport
between you.

FOCUS ON THEM: Take the opportunity to make them feel good about
themselves. Listen out for anything they seem proud of and drop an indirect
compliment their way. Act as if it's not meant as a compliment but you
truly believe it. People like people who make them feel good when they're
around.

KEY WORDS: Listen out for key words and key phrases they like to use and
use them back to them. Be careful though. Do not overdo it. Just
occasionally to keep them thinking you are thinking like them.

Source: Simply NLP