Quote: Whatever you have

Whatever you have, spend less.
- Samuel Johnson

Influence and Motivation

I was helping to enhance the effectiveness of a sales presentation
for a division of a Fortune 500 company this week. Lots of fun and
filled with some real "aha" experiences...

In just a moment I'm going to show you how to motivate people. Very
few people have the ability to motivate others to do anything because
people who have evolved to becoming agents of change haven't
discovered the lens with which you MUST view each person.

As you read the story, don't forget the message...and then...record
the analysis for your every day reminder...

Imagine:

Someone goes to work five days per week. They "punch in" at 9 and
"out" at "5." By an entrepreneur's standards, those are pretty wimpy
hours...OK, really wimpy hours. Then it dawned on me that most people
who do the "punch in" and "9-5" have to punch in because otherwise no
one would know they were there. In other words, it's sort of like
wearing an ankle bracelet when you are released from jail and
required to be at a certain place at a certain time and no where else.

As time passes the individual becomes like the hamster in the wheel.
Each day like the last and very predictive of the future.

When you say "job" the person immediately thinks of THEIR experience.
When you say "work" they think of THEIR OWN "work" or place of
employment. After a few months, and then a few years the person
becomes dependent on the job, the company,

...the wheel. They almost become a hamster....

Take away the wheel and the hamster freaks out.

[4] Tinnitus, Pain and Visual Delusions: Repairing Perception Problems

You may hear it (tinnitus), or know someone who does, feel it (pain),
see it (visual delusions). But you don't have permanently live with
these experiences!

12 years ago I woke up with tinnitus. 70-80 dB of h*ll. Talking with
a dozen doctors and reading tons of medical literature boiled down to
one thing: You are stuck with it. Get used to it.

Not possible. There was NO way I could live with the jet engine 24/7.
In addition to medications and a whole slew of lifestyle changes, I
started studying the brain. I got caught up by buying every textbook
I could find on neurology, psychobiology and neurobiology.

I'll tell you one thing: We know 100 times more about the brain today
than we did 12 years ago, but...the doctors still tell people there
is nothing that can be done.

They tell that to people who taste metal, see delusions, have
schizophrenia (paranoia w/delusions), feel chronic pain and have the
nightmare of them all: tinnitus. And they are wrong.

Kevin Hogan

The People Behind Technique and Strategy

by Kevin Hogan

You can know all the techniques, strategies and mental linguistics on
the planet...but...if you aren't a person of influence you haven't
got a chance.
Similarly you can be a person of influence but your client quite
simply might not be motivated to change. (at least not yet!)

Let's look at both of the people in the process and find out what
kind of a person a person of influence is...then find out what your
client must feel about you to best be motivated by you....

First: What is influence? It's a process where one person motivates
another person to change something.

Let's look at just what it takes to motivate that person and who the
person of influence needs to be to accomplish persuasion.

Just who is the person of influence?

Who is the great salesman, the great therapist, the great lover, the
great President, the great you get the idea....

There are a number of qualities and characteristics that are crucial
to success in persuasion and influence...in every usage from therapy
to selling. Above all else is one characteristic that dwarfs all of the rest...

Empathy.

*Nothing* is more important than empathy for someone who wants to
motivate others to change. What is empathy? It's the ability to
feel...to understand...to walk a mile in their shoes...Empathy means
that you can *feel* and see life from the perspective of the other
person. If and when you can do that...you can be influential. If you
can't you will only be able to "close a percentage" or get lucky now
and then. You can know all the techniques on the planet but if you
can't feel their pain you will never truly be a great salesman, a
great communicator, a powerful person of influence.

***You walk into the hospital, see your loved one with the I V in
their arm. You paste a smile on your face but they know it hurts you
as much as it does them. That's empathy.

***Your child is home sick from school. You feel as bad for them as they feel.

***You see the result of their bad decisions and the pain of the
future they now face. You feel it too.

When I think of empathy I think of people like former President
Clinton. (gasp!) He has far more empathy than most people in the
public eye. Politics aside, when you watched Clinton with people, you
sensed he could really be in that person's shoes...and he was.

That means he has the capacity to identify and feel what others are
feeling at this moment. People of great empathy have three common traits.

* They have experienced pain first hand.
* They have a wide range of experiences with all kinds of other people.
* They are validated and feel good based upon the approval of others.

I saw a book on the shelf today at B & N. It was called "Disease to
Please." I didn't pick it up. Why? The person doesn't get it. (Just
like the guy who wrote "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. It's All Small
Stuff.") The book might be helpful but the *title* spreads a very bad
ideavirus.

In a broad sense, the ideal life is about two things. Giving and
receiving pleasure. (Pleasure broadly means anything that is good.)
Take away one of the two (giving or receiving) from the person and
you have a half of a person...

Take away the giving part, and in the vernacular, you have a jerk....

I'll bet a nickel the author of "Disease to Please" will tell the
reader that the reason people are unhappy and unsatisfied is that
they are trying to please other people at their own expense. (And
that might be a fact.) The possible solution might be proposed to
*stop* trying to please others and start doing what the reader has
never done perhaps...please themselves.

Problem.

As soon as the person stops being helpful, kind, loving, supportive,
nurturing to others they lose the other half of who they were. The
half of them that IS powerful and useful.

The real solution obviously is to always be supportive, kind and
helpful. And then to be supportive, kind and helpful to yourself as
well. (It requires no more time or effort. A simple set of choices.)
Then instead of becoming a jerk they becomes a complete
person...and...a person capable of powerful influence...which means
they are only one step away from success at any level they choose.

The influential person has a strong desire to please... and if they
are going to be influential that extends to the desire to help (for
both altruistic and selfish purposes) others be happy, feel better,
and be useful as a human. This desire to help, to create value, to
love will often be paired with some kind of pain and no one should
tell this person to try and squelch the feelings of being rebuffed,
rejected or hurt. That IS the healthy and normal response. These are
the feelings that generate the empathic response.

Master Your Mind

by Paul J. Meyer

Achievers set goals, are dedicated to reaching them,
concentrate on strengths and minimize weaknesses. They
continuously step up their courage, pride, determination
and confidence, all the while keeping their achievements
in perspective. In combination, these qualities make up
the achiever's attitude, the overall frame of mind that
enables people to become successful in all areas of life.

An achiever's attitude is essential to reaching goals and
fulfilling dreams. Through practice and repetition, you
can develop positive habits of thinking. Your mind
believes what you tell it, and your body receives direction
from your mind. Tell yourself constantly that you can do
something, and you will.

Master your mind with these suggestions:

Focus On Your Goals
When you have sufficient desire to reach the top, you
gain the determination, courage, pride and willingness
necessary to exert the effort to overcome obstacles that
stand between you and your goals.

Exert Self-Control
Many people panic when they make a few mistakes.
Achievers look forward­not backward. They keep
their mind focused on their goals and possess mental
toughness, never letting their emotions disrupt
performance.

Be Teachable
Achievers realize they do not know everything there is
to know. They know they can always improve, no matter
how good they are. They welcome constructive criticism
and pursue suggestions from others to reach even higher
levels of expertise and excellence.