are celebrating Independence Day. In that spirit,
today's article is about science-based techniques for declaring
independence from negative thinking.
We all have negative thoughts from time to time. But some of the most
destructive negative thoughts we have jump into our minds so
quickly and reflexively that we barely notice them, even though we
definitely feel the negative emotions they trigger. Aaron
Beck, the founder of cognitive therapy, described these with the term
"automatic negative thoughts." Others call them "inner
critics" or "gremlins," but the label doesn't really matter. What matters
is preventing these Automatic Negative Thoughts - or
ANTs - from spinning into unproductive cycles of negative thoughts and
emotions.
==> Step One: Identify Your ANTs & Triggers
Different people have different Automatic Negative Thoughts. So the
process of overcoming negativity requires some introspection
and begins with identifying your unique ANTs. ANTs are generally triggered
by specific situations, so identify situations that upset you, and try to
pinpoint your immediate reaction. For example:
- In response to a professional setback, some will automatically think:
"I'm a loser."
- After a romantic disappointment, others instantly assume: "I'm unworthy."
- After a failed attempt to make life changes, some will say "I fail at
everything" or "I'll never be
able to get thin/stop smoking/start my business, etc."
After identifying your habitual negative thoughts, and the situations that
trigger them, then recognize the negative effects your ANTs have. Most
people find that their negative thoughts trigger broader patterns of
negative emotions, counter-productive behaviors, and additional negative
thoughts.
==> Step Two: Focus on "Managing" Your ANTs, Not Eliminating Them
Automatic Negative Thoughts are automatic largely because they have
recurred many times over many years. Indeed, they often got
their start with intense emotional experiences from childhood
or adolescence. So don't expect them to disappear overnight.
Of course, it would be great to eliminate negative thoughts completely,
but for most people, that's an unrealistic expectation. Indeed, anyone who
promises to eliminate negativity forever is probably selling self-help
snake oil. However, it is certainly possible to manage your ANTs, and
although they might still occur from time to time, the research is very
clear that you can learn to prevent ANTs from spinning into downward
spirals of negative thoughts and emotions.
Certainly there is some value in reviewing the past to understand how your
ANTs got started. But the key to managing ANTs is to
recognize that they now have a life of their own, and the path to resolving
them lies primarily in the here and now.
We've all seen movies or TV shows in which someone suddenly figures out the
origin of a specific negative thought or psychological problem, and then
has an immediate and dramatic recovery. That's certainly convenient for a
TV show that needs to have everything neatly wrapped up by the end of the
hour, but that's not really how the mind works. There are some effective
ANT-management techniques that we can use, but they will require some
effort and practice.
==> Step Three: Observing Your ANT Objectively
This step begins with an insight from Buddhism: the inner monologue that
has been cycling through your head since you
learned to talk is not "you." In a sense, "you" are the listener rather
than the voice itself.
As the listener, you can shape the nature of that internal monologue, and
choose to listen to a more positive voice. Most importantly, you can learn
to prevent that little voice - those isolated thoughts - from spinning into
full-blown cycles of negative emotion and counter-productive actions.
When an ANT occurs, try to observe it objectively. Just because you have
"heard it," doesn't mean that you have to believe it, or give into
it. Recognize that this thought occurred to you, and let it go. Ride out
the thought like a surfer riding a wave. If this technique appeals to
you, you may want to explore meditation in more detail, as many meditative
techniques are focused on this type of "impartial observation" of thoughts.
==> Step Four: Just Stop It
Try carrying a 3x5 card with the word "STOP" written on it. When your ANT
pops into your head, pull the card out and spend some time looking at it.
Another alternative - wear a rubber band around your wrist, and snap it
when your ANT occurs.
This technique may seem simplistic and "self-helpy." Certainly it is no
magic bullet to eliminating your ANTs forever. But it will help you become
more aware of your ANTs, the situations that trigger them, and most
importantly, your ability to consciously prevent your ANTs from spinning
out of control. And it is good preparation for our fifth and final step...
==> Step Five: Learn To Argue With Yourself
The final step in our process of ANT-management requires going on the
counter-attack. Fight back against the negative thoughts by asking
yourself a series of questions that will reveal the ANTs as false and
counter-productive. Try asking yourself these seven kinds of questions:
- Evidence: What is the objective evidence for this ANT?
- Exaggeration: Is this ANT an exaggeration? Am I over-reacting? Am I
over-generalizing?
- Alternatives: What are some other possible explanations?
- Flexibility: Can I evaluate this situation in more flexible terms? Am
I thinking in overly rigid, black-or-white, all-or-none terms?
- Utility: Is this belief empowering or counter-productive?
- Comparison: How have others fared in similar situations?
- Role reversal: How would I evaluate other people who performed as I did?
==> For Example...
Suppose you don't complete a certain project on time, and as a result, you
find that you are calling yourself a loser. Try challenging this ANT by
asking yourself questions like:
- Does not finishing my project on time really indicate that I am a
loser? Haven't I completed lots of other projects on time? (Evidence)
- Isn't "loser" a little strong? (Exaggeration)
- Is it possible that I didn't finish my project on time because I didn't
have the resources I needed? (Alternatives)
- Just because I may have room to improve my project management skills,
does that really mean I'm a loser? (Flexibility)
- Does it really benefit me to think of myself as a loser just because I
was late with one project? (Utility)
- Did everyone else finish their projects on time? (Comparison)
- Would I consider everyone who didn't finish their projects on time a
loser? (Role reversal)
At first, this process of "arguing with yourself" will probably seem forced
and artificial. But research has shown that, with practice, this technique
can be an effective technique for managing the negative thoughts and
emotions that undermine confidence. In fact, this technique is the basis
for cognitive-behavioral therapy, pioneered by Dr. Aaron Beck, and
rational-emotive behavior therapy, pioneered by Dr. Albert Ellis. Both
types of therapy have repeatedly proven effective in treating depression
and managing negative thoughts.
By Dr. Stephen Kraus
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