trying a new or challenging activity? Has that fear or
anxiety ever stopped you from moving forward? If you
answered "yes" to either or both of the above questions,
welcome to the human race.
Before going on, let's clarify. I am not talking about
physical risks that might injure you or endanger your
health. Rather, I mean those instances where you are
apprehensive about new situations or about dealing with
people in ways you seldom -- or never -- have.
Each of us has a comfort zone ... a zone of behavior which
is familiar to us and in which we feel comfortable and safe.
Think of your comfort zone as the inside of a circle. The
activities and situations that lie inside the circle are
non-threatening and familiar.
They are routine, part of your everyday life. The activities
and situations that are outside the circle are uncomfortable
and produce anxiety; you tend to avoid them.
While operating within your comfort zone, you feel capable
and secure. However, you are occasionally confronted with
experiences or challenges that lie outside your comfort
zone. At these times, you suddenly feel nervous. Your palms
become sweaty and your heart pounds. You are terrified. You
begin to wonder ... Will I be able to handle it? Will others
laugh at me? What will my friends and relatives say?
If I could give you a way to confront uncomfortable
situations without fear or anxiety, you would be ecstatic
and eternally grateful, right? Well, I'm sorry, but there is
no such magical solution. How, then, can you muster the
courage to do those things that you fear, but which are
necessary for your success and growth?
The Price You Pay
When confronted with an anxiety-producing event, many people
will retreat to avoid the fear and worry. And, in fact,
backing off does relieve the anxiety that would have
resulted if you followed through with the activity. That's
the "benefit" you derive from retreating -- a momentary
avoidance of fear and anxiety.
However, I want you to seriously consider the price you pay
when you back away from life's challenges: Your self-esteem
is lowered. You feel powerless, depressed, frustrated,
unfulfilled. You sabotage your success. Furthermore, you
guarantee yourself an uneventful, boring life.
Is this a price worth paying for the temporary escape from
fear and anxiety? Unfortunately, most of us are far too
willing to pay this dear price, simply to avoid discomfort
and possible ridicule from others.
Life does not reward those who refuse to expose themselves
to difficulty. Indeed, the degree of success you attain is
related to your willingness to be uncomfortable and take
risks. It is important, therefore, that you put yourself in
a position to win. This often means taking action despite
fear.
Adopt A New Attitude
I suggest that you adopt a different outlook when
confronting an anxiety-producing situation. Most people
focus on the possibility of an unsuccessful result and the
accompanying ridicule or rejection. Then, they decide to
back away. While you should always expect a positive outcome
(and prepare accordingly), do not be overly concerned with
the result.
Rather, consider yourself an immediate winner when you take
the step and do the thing you fear. You are a winner just by
entering the arena and participating, regardless of the
outcome.
As we know from past experience, the fear and anxiety that
we build up before a new challenge is usually greatly
exaggerated. When we do the feared activity, we learn that
it is not as frightening or difficult as we had expected.
Like getting off a previously-dreaded roller coaster, we
often find that we've enjoyed the activity and are ready to
do it again.
Ralph Waldo Emerson offered some simple advice that, if
followed, can transform your life. He said, "Do the thing
you fear and the death of fear is certain." I know that this
advice makes sense to you, but that some of you are just too
afraid to act.
Remember my prior words about the steep price you pay when
you let your fears dominate you. Simply put, retreating from
your fears is a losing strategy.
Instead, stretch yourself. Confront your fears and be
willing to expand your comfort zone. The courage muscle can
be developed just like any other -- with exercise. And, best
of all, when you push through temporary fear and anxiety by
taking action in one area of your life, you will develop
additional confidence in other areas as well.
So, don't delay any longer. Face your fears. Accept the
challenge. It's a decision you won't regret.
-- Jeff Keller
(c) Attitude is Everything, Inc.
No comments:
Post a Comment